Day 16 - Mommy Guilt

Dear Matthew,

Today I began to feel a little guilty for just sitting around and holding you most of the day because, for the most part, all you do is sleep.

But I love holding you. I love listening to your little sighs, your little grunts, and even your little whimpers. You are a wiggle worm, especially when you are trying to go to sleep or when you are attempting to wake up. You stretch your arms and stretch your legs, and even do some tongue calisthenics as you stick your tongue in and out of your mouth repeatedly. When you finally fall asleep, more often than not your arms fall back by the side of your ears, and you hardly move at all. I am constantly placing my hand on your chest to make sure that you are still breathing because when you are content, you are also oh so still, and frankly, it scares me a bit.

So, I decided that today I would put you down more so that I could be productive. But I wasn't productive at all. And then I experienced this thing called "Mommy Guilt" where I ended up feeling pretty darn awful because not only did I neglect you all day (even though you were sleeping contently), but I also didn't accomplish a darn thing (except for getting dressed).

It's evening time, and you are asleep yet again. I am being somewhat productive (documenting your life counts as productive, right?), but I have found a way to alleviate the guilt AND type with both hands.


Sleeping on Mommy's lap is one way to help Mommy alleviate the guilt!

Now if only my leg hadn't fallen asleep...

Love, Mommy

2-Weeks Old

Dear Matthew,

Today you turned 2-weeks old. The time has flown by so fast, I just can't believe it's already been 2 weeks. And to think, you are not even supposed to be here for another 2 weeks! Our life has been turned completely upside-down, yet I couldn't be happier.

Apparently, sleeping for 3-hours at a time two nights ago (April 19-20), was too good to be true, and you decided that it was time for revenge last night. You were up every 90-minutes demanding more food. Don't get me wrong, I love feeding you, and as exhausted as I am, I wouldn't have it any other way. BUT... 90-minutes? C'mon, let's try for 2-hours at a time, OK? I promise that it will help you have a much happier Mommy. Really! And as a bonus, I might even be able to stay awake...

Mommy gave you a bath this morning, all on her own. Apparently I got the water temperature just right (again), so you pretty much curled up in the bath tub and went to sleep. The only time you cried out (and it was only a little bit), was when I removed the warm towel that was covering you in an attempt to wash your belly and back. As soon as I replaced the towel, you went right back to sleep. Silly little boy!

Daddy and I took you to see your pediatrician today. You now weigh exactly 6 pounds, just 1-ounce shy of your birth weight. Not only that, but when the nurse measured your length, you surprised us by growing an entire inch! Way to go, little guy!

Today you had to have your PKU test done. It's just a screening test that is required by law, but it requires yet another heel prick. Mommy really dislikes heel pricks. As usual, the nurse brought out a latex glove filled with warm water to hold on your heel for a few minutes before hand, but this time the water really wasn't very warm. So Mommy untied it, emptied it, and refilled it, and Daddy held it in place until the nurse was ready to collect the needed blood. The glove worked like a charm - you barely even whimpered when the lancet stabbed you. The nurse let Daddy hold you against his chest, and you pretty much slept the entire time. Piece of cake!

You and I had a very busy afternoon. Mommy's friend Cheri came and kidnapped us, and Mommy was excited because she has been home-bound (or hospital bound) for 2-weeks, because she still isn't allowed to drive the car. We went to J&L Gardens in Bountiful, where you were quite the attraction. Many people commented on how cute you are, and particularly how small you are. I am sure that Cheri was quite tired of hearing Mommy say "He's 2-weeks old, weighs 6 pounds, and was born 4-weeks early!" Once concerned woman asked me if you were "safe in this environment?" I guess maybe she thought you were too little to be out exploring the world, but I think you did just fine.

Once Cheri finished her shopping, we went to Ben & Jerry's at The Gateway in order to participate in "Free Cone Day!" Mommy got Chocolate Macadmia because I knew that was what you were secretly hoping to try. Right? OK, maybe not... but it was delicious. Trust me.

After we got home and rested for a few hours, Mommy and Daddy took you and your big sisters to Ben & Jerry's once again. They were running out of flavors to choose from this time around, so you and I sampled the Strawberry (though your 'sample' didn't arrive until many hours later in the form of 'milk'), the girls chose Chocolate, and Daddy chose Vanilla.


Matthew sleeps while the family enjoys free ice cream from Ben & Jerry's.

Oh Matthew, I love you so much. I love holding you and watching you sleep. I love being able to breast-feed you, though I could really do without the initial "CHOMP!" that you greet me with each and every time. I even love changing your diapers because each and every poopie diaper is one step closer to being completely jaundice free. You are still 'in the clear' but your face still appears to be a little bit yellow, yet it is nothing to be concerned about at this stage of the game. You are doing so well!

Love, Mommy

Picture Day

My friend Sherri is starting her own photography business and offered me a steal of a deal on newborn pictures of Matthew. Today was the big day! I really wanted everything to be perfect, so of course I was majorly stressed out. Of course, I shouldn't have been. But I was, OK? So there!

Anyway, Sherri took over 250 pictures of our little guy, and I cannot even imagine how hard it would be to sort through them all. I already told her that I just need one print of all of them, and I can use them to wallpaper our family room. LOL! I cannot wait for a sneak preview!

Matthew was a champ. Didn't cry, didn't fuss, might've pouted, but overall, was cute, cute, cute. We did some pictures clothed, some pictures with only a diaper and even a few nekkid pictures. What a cutie!

Anyway, as I said, I can't wait to see the pictures of our little guy.

Happy Birthday To You!

Matthew Jayden Harris was born at 12:43 pm on Tuesday, April 7, 2009 via c-section. He was born 4-weeks early, but still managed to weigh 6 pounds, 1 ounce and was 18.5 inches long. He is the smallest of our 3 kids.

He has been struggling a little with his oxygen levels, and initially had problems with his blood sugar, but seems to be doing much better now. I was finally able to nurse him which totally made my day because it meant that I got to hold him! He will be spending the night in the nursery so that they can monitor him closely, but they will bring him to me to nurse. I made sure to tell them that if they felt that he couldn't leave the nursery, they needed to tell me and I would come there! C-section or not! I really want my baby time!

I fully intend to write his "birth story" but I am too tired to accomplish this activity right now.

Happy Birthday little guy!



~ Daddy Is Already Teaching Him To "Geek..." ~